Where did strong, powerful, empowered me go? I may as well be with the Mad-Hatter so he can remind me that I've lost my muchness. It's true. I have been much muchier.
Yet, here I sit typing away hoping something will walk across my heart and swipe up every last drop of sadness and take it far away. There are times in life when we freeze. There simply isn't enough power to move forward and our heart is weak. This is how it is now.
This is not reality however. It is a feeling. Feelings are not facts. Yet they carry their own form of power that can devour your spirit and dash your hopes when we let them.
AWAY WITH YOU!
NOW, I SAY!
Was that convincing?
As contrived as it may have felt, there was a slight glimmer of strength peeking through as I typed and simultaneously said these simple words with conviction.
This is hopeful. And revealing.
No matter how religious you are, or how much you put your faith in a power greater than yourself, it's still up to you to pull yourself up or, at the very least, try to stand so something, anything, anyone can reach you to help lift you out of the hole you're falling in. Even if it is the rabbit hole.
Ok, I'm standing.
Thanks for listening, my warriors for the whisper. Once again, this small, quiet voice was loud enough to hear above all the sounds that roared above it.
This is the beauty of learning to listen. We must not listen for anything that makes sense. It can come only from that which has no expectations, and rise out of the deep and unlikely places. It leads us to the deepest ocean drop, miles from anything that resembles a world we know. Here it leaves us to swim to where we cannot imagine. This is where we remember who we are, and stroke by stroke, find shore.
Take me there, God. To these untouched lands and oceans inside my soul. Leave me there to find my way through the quagmire of mistakes, missed turns, and closed eyes. Let me clear the path so I once again can see.