Everything is Holy Now.

98 Ordinary




Linda Irene

Why I still hold on to the idea of God.

The answer may surprise you.

You know by now that it's not because I'm a bible thumper, or because I like touting religion. It's far from a leaning or social pressure, as one might say.

I don't think I'm alone either. It's hard for me to believe that anyone wants to give up on the idea of God, even if it's popular to do so. When those who've given up on God are asked why, they most often say it contradicts reason. I beg to differ.

I hold on to the idea of God because it follows reason when nothing else does. It leans into my intelligence, rather than minimizing it.

Those who, even unconsciously, avoid the subject because, on some level, don't want to let it go, aren't holding on to hope of being rescued. It has nothing to do with that.

I think, on some unexplainable level, we know we're not alone...and this aloneness is not really about our existence on a physical plane, but rather, it exists in our consciousness. Within our consciousness, we sense an expansiveness that is beyond our comprehension - and we can't deny it. Consciousness, although not a big subject of science, continues to be our reality - through experience.

The ability to come close to the edge deep within ourselves - some describe it as where our ego and soul meet, and far up in our mind's eye - as in meditation practice, leaves us curious as to what lies beyond that place.

Or connected to it.

To suggest that we can't explain it doesn't hold water because we can't explain a lot of things. We can't explain why photons allows us to see something take shape or color. We can't explain why DNA takes form, or ???why it only last seven generations. We have no idea why two chemicals make water, for instance. We only know they do. Surprisingly, we think this is good enough - but why is it good enough? Did you know that we don't actually understand chemicals?

We don't know why one person heals and another doesn't. Or why we only catch a cold one in eight times that we're exposed to the same virus, on average. There are countless things that can't be explained in a way that satisfies even the simplest mind. They just are that way - which means we can only have faith in it. Hmm. Faith.

Clearly, dynanmic systems are not controlled circumstances in which we can measure outcomes to have them make sense. Yet, we want them to.

We are like children who want what they want when they want it. And we can't have it, so we reason it away to fit into the box we call reality. This reality tends to be contained in the box we call material or matter. And matter matters. But it's only the tip of the iceberg.

There's so much more.

And I think most of us know it, even when we don't want to admit it.

How can we possibly give up on the idea of God, an intelligence greater than all that is, when we can't even drill down to gain a true understanding of how water happens?

We can start by getting a glimpse or a fundamental understanding of quantum mechanics, and the myriad of questions it poses for us - much of it unanswered. This, for me, transports me to a state of awe and endless curiosity even though my knowledge and understanding is sadly limited. Here's a good place to start familiarizing yourself of all we have yet to learn: http://gizmodo.com/5-reasons-our-universe-might-actually-be-a-virtual-real-1665353513

Or we can keep it simple and wonder about the migration of birds, or monarch butterflies instead. Monarch's live six months, and migrate thousands of miles. Each year, it is the child of a monarch that migrates, not the monarch who made the first trip. How does it know where to go?

I think it knows for the same reason I fall to the ground occasionally - but you might not believe me.

I believe we have a form of cellular memory, perhaps writtten into our DNA. My husband either gives me an eye roll or laughs dismissively when I insist, but I'm a believer - even if my science is wrong, which it most assuredly is. Nonetheless, this is one reason why.

On many occasions I've had experiences that cannot be explained through reason, just as countless others claim. It's easy to hear these stories and dismiss them but it's another story when they're happening to you.

One day on the island of Norway, after not being there in over a decade, I hard a fighter jet approachiing. At least it sounded like one. I knew the sound of them because I'd become familiar with them on the high desert of Idaho, when we grazed cows on open range near the Mountain Home Air Force Base. In this case, it was on an ocean island on the southern tip of Norway. As the plane approached, unlike the M... that roamed the Idaho skies, I could hear. However, when the sound got very close, my anxiety level raised almost to panic attack stage and I instinctively threw myself to the ground, face first.

Now, why would I do that?

There's no logical reason whatsoever for me to do that. No war stories that included attack from my parents, even if they lived in Nazi occupied Norway before they immigrated to America. No personal experiences of being bombed or at way in my past. No recurring dreams that I was aware of. For no reason, whatsoever, I followed protocol for an airstrike.

Another occasion was years after in the mountains of North Carolina where I was about to participate in a Native American spiritual retreat to learn the ways of the elders, so to speak. My girlfriend and I just arrived and had pitched our tents. We'd spend the first night in our tents, along with twenty or so other registered weekend participants. The workshop would officially begin at dawn.

I'd been a lifelong camper, choosing an outdoor vacation in the rough over a 4-star Paris hotel most days. As we laid in the dark tent, which I'd done many times before, before I drifted off to sleep, I suddenly began to see something that made no sense. My eyes were not closed. I was not sleeping or dreaming.

It was like a movie playing. A memory with images that I was watching, but not. I know this is hard to describe, but the best way I know how is to say it was like remembering something in your memory so you recall the event almost visually even though you're not actually seeing something - but in this case I was seeing it like a movie simultaneously. Does this make any sense at all?

What was unfolding before my eyes was a large, high grass scene - a swampy area it seemed. There were some noises coming from the grass, but it was quite a distance away. I was watching/experiencing this as if I was huddled down, in the grass myself. It felt like a crouched position. I listened intently as I watched, when all of a sudden, the grass began to move more than it had been. Before it waved gently as if to a soft breeze even though I couldn't feel the breeze itself. Now, it was bending back and forth horizontally almost. Then it stopped. It stood back up straight, coming almost to a full halt.

That's when I saw two hands. They were separating the swamp grass slowly and with intention. Out from the separating grass peeked a face. And a helmet. In camoflauge. It was a man. An Asian man. Then everything went black.

But I was still awake.

What was that?

There are many more experiences like this, but I'll spare you for now. (Dalmatians) But consider this feat of wonder in nature too...

In early summer, thousands of fireflies light up in unison in the Great Smoky Mountains. In unison! And nobody knows why.

What does the mystery hold?

It could certainly hold God.
Or, perhaps, God is holding us...

as the mystery unfolds.

The Sacred Space of the Rooms.
O, Wisdom. Transform Me.